What’s my take on Failure-sophy? Well, after reading a book on the philosophy of failure (or “Failosophy for teens”), I somehow felt inspired to write my own version based on my beliefs and experiences.
Many a time, after reading a fiction or non-fiction book, I always wish I could have written one from the Christian worldview, not least because it would offer another layer of hope, and true hope at that.
Here it is!
Chapter 1 – Failure is a fact of life in this fallen world
This is a fallen world, ever since Adam and Eve decided to listen to the serpent instead of God, and threw us into the downward spiral that we are still in today. Work does not produce the easy harvest it was meant to, and many times we sow in vain.
Chapter 2 – What to do when life throws you a curveball
Instead of just picking ourselves up by our own strength, or relying on positive self-talk or intense ‘mindful meditation’, we should re-organise our perspective of life. To understand and acknowledge that bad things will happen in this fallen, sinful, rebellious world. To align our worldview with the design that is so clearly conveyed through the Holy Bible, and take things from there.
Chapter 3 – What does failure teach you about success – failure is data acquisition
The book talks about how the end of a relationship is not the end of the world. In fact, relationship failures teach us extremely important lessons, not least about ourselves. I can agree with that perspective, for every time something goes wrong, we can reflect on why it did, and that is indeed ‘data acquisition’.
With that acquired data, we can then move forward more wisely, not repeating the same mistakes or being more aware of what we want from a relationship or in a wider context, how better to react to certain situations.
For instance, I realise that I panic when things start going wrong. If I see a similar situation on the horizon, what steps should I take to calm myself down and put forth a rational response instead? Who can I confide in and consult? How long should I wait before making a decision in such circumstances, with information I have on hand, and thinking ahead to the best of my ability?
Chapter 4 – Our “internal chatter” matters
The book suggests that accurately interpreting the severity of a negative experience, and taking an objective perspective about it, helps immensely.
“The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it.”
– Eckhart Tolle
Whilst I can see how they have come to this conclusion, rather than “internal chatter” or “my thoughts”, I would reframe it as “biblical musings”, which are reflections and an internal narrative borne out of biblical wisdom and theological grounding.
I can reframe a catastrophe but acknowledging how it fits into the larger scheme of God’s plan, and the longer term of eternity. It might be a disaster if this world is all I have, but in the light of eternity, even death and trauma has an end, and all things will be made new and perfect one day. Looking forward to that day, knowing that I have a God of perfect justice, will help me think rightly about what has happened, and put the horror in the right perspective.
Chapter 5 – Social media feeds the lie
“Social media perpetuates the lie that if you are successful, you will be rich and happy. And conversely, if you are beautiful and rich enough, you will be successful.”
This is indeed prevalent and insidious in this day and age. So we regulate the amount of time we spend on social media strictly. It is a good servant but a bad master, and it is an ongoing practice of discipline to ensure that we are not being mastered by the subtle allure and deceit of images and false promises.
Surround ourselves with good role models who live simply. Who honour God with their time, income and possessions. And we will emulate such saints in caring about what matters, and in so doing, bring glory to God, instead of having our hearts pulled towards material things, worldly looks and earthly experiences.
Chapter 6 – Being open about our failures and vulnerabilities ministers to others and builds connections
It’s rare that a deep connection evolves from us telling someone all the amazing things we’ve achieved in our lives. Most of the time, it’s in fact the opposite — we bond more easily when we relate to someone else’s struggling.
– E Day
This is indeed what community is about, and the Christian community should model this best. Alas, as with many other things, we fail to shine as lights in the world in this area, though many small communities are still trying their best, and able to live and share authentically, as one beggar sharing a meal with another.
Christians should be the first to admit that they are works-in-progress, that they simply do not have it all put together. Our gospel shines a mirror daily, for us to reflect upon our weak, sullied lives and thoughts. But the gospel also puts forth Aslan – strong and magnificant, a Saviour who can redeem us from all ungodliness if we simply cling to the cross and acknowledge that we have no strength apart from Him, and that we are wretched sinners with no merit apart from our holy Lord who gave Himself up for us, to present us as a pure and spotless bride.
I am glad that in our Care Discipleship Group, we need not hold up any pretence. Most of us have know each other for more than a decade, and new members whom we have absorbed are folded into this circle of trust. None of us are foolish enough to pretend we have it all, but share our struggles, our failures in parenting, our impatience and our tears. This builds a community we can count on, even as we sojourn and falter in our steps, as we try to walk the straight and narrow. Come, Lord Jesus! Your servants await.
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